Coming Back

This past month has taught me some valuable lessons. I lost a friend last month, a friend I had known less than a year. But he made a huge impact on my life in a short amount of time. We shared sobriety, a love for God, and we also worked together. One mistake, one bad decision, spiraled out of control and ended up proving fatal for him. I know I didn’t know him long, but his death hit home for me like no other. It made me think of how easily that could have been me, making one mistake, one bad decision, just one drink. Then everything spirals out of control. At first, it grounded me, scared me into staying sober. After a few weeks, other stress in my life started to pile up, and then there it was. That itch. The thought of stopping by a liquor store on my way home. I didn’t and haven’t, thank God, but the thought was there, more than it has been since I first got sober. Entertaining that thought of having a drink, I could handle just one, or better yet, get hammered one night to get rid of the itch, then go back on the wagon. But I know myself better than that. By the grace of God, I am still sober. I am struggling with some anxiety, and trying to find ways to work past it. I’m thinking about finding a group, maybe finding a meeting to talk to some like minded people and get some insight on how to work through the tough times, even after being sober for a while. If anyone out there has any insight or can relate, I would love to hear about it.